Topic of the Week: A University dog

Bill to Recognize Official University Dog

Sponsored by President Matt Schrimper

Whereas, the University has a proud history of recognizing and revering official University dogs,

Whereas, the University Dog serves as a dog-away-from home to countless students,

Whereas, Noble Cozart Lampkin has served as a convivial canine in his time in Pavilions III and V,

Whereas, Noble is full breed Collie that has been with the University since a mere eight weeks of age,

Whereas, Noble is often seen traipsing about the Academicals Village with students and respected administrators chasing after,

Whereas, “noble” is a synonym for “honorable,”

Whereas, Noble’s heartwarming and

Be it therefore enacted that Noble be formally recognized as the official University Dog.

Last night at the transition ceremony in the Rotunda, out-going Student Council President Matt Schrimper introduced legislation to establish a University dog. The dog in question was Noble, the dog of Pat Lampkin, Vice President and Chief Student Affairs Officer. This legislation was passed and Noble has been declared the official dog of the University by Council. Was this a waste of time? Council had to prepare the language and go through all the legislative produces to establish the University dog. How many students have really had contact with Noble and how does this benefit even those who have? Is this really what we want Council doing with their time, even if it was the last official act of Schrimper's administration?
Alternatively, a University dog can be a unifying figure and provide some light-hearted relief in these times of economic stress. Noble is still Lampkin's dog; this doesn't cost the University any money and could provide a lot of fun for students. Even if the establishment of a University dog doesn't affect all that many people, if certainly couldn't hurt anyone. Maybe there should be a place for lighthearted legislation in Council's agenda.